183.6 sigh

Delicious looking, oui?  Because it is.  Chocolate filled croissant.  I had one today from Douceur De France, a local french bakery.  Some co-workers picked them up.  Pure luck getting invited to indulge, since I'm PMS'ing, I went for it.  So freaking yummy.  Don't even feel bad about eating it because I did lose 90 lbs and it is a rare treat. 

However, I've been letting my standards fall with the desserts.  I actually ate a pudding cup which is not to be eaten, ever, taste sub-par in my opinion.  Should have made myself a mousse or even a truffle filled with mousse.  But my motivation has been lacking lately.  Don't know why except that my hubby is still out of work and my free time is spent with him.   Earlier in the week I had to go to the doctor's about a sinus infection, followed with stopping by my parents house to drop something off and then a quick stop at the grocery store.  He wanted to go until I mentioned my parents house (my mother loves to point out other peoples flaws, no tact either) so he frowned and said never mind.

So I'm thinking this slump I'm in is because of the emotions that having him around brings.  When he was working I enjoyed having 8 to 12 hours by myself with just the dogs for company.  Got so much accomplished around the house.  Now I just play my facebook games and watch tv shows, at his beck and call.  I'm very independent and he's very co-dependent.  Still I'm exercising on the elliptical and going swimming but it's lackluster at best. 

I miss my alone time.  Which reminds me, really like that new show Castaway, I could totally do that.  Love survival shows where it's truly more survival, less game show.  Probably why I like Bear Grylls.

Did get some inner thigh exercise done this week.  Hubby and I cut down some tree limbs that were a possible risk to the roof if it ever ices over again (it will) and I dragged them from the front yard to the side yard.  2 days later and I didn't want to walk today.  Still got 10 minutes done on the elliptical and 12K in steps.  No pain, no gain right?  Pffft.

Eat less, move more... for tomorrow is another chance to start again on the right foot.  Fingers crossed.  I need a new fight song.  Any suggestions?  It was Pain by Imagine Dragons.

183.6 Maintance

It really does.  Just saying.

So I haven't lost any weight for the last month.  Basically taking advantage of the fact that I can eat what I want as long as I don't go over 2K in calories.  Been nice.  Using up crap food that I bought on whims.

But at the same time, my state has been in a rainfall for the last few days making it really hard to go swimming.  That sucks.  Not to mention, I can feel all my arthritis.  Ugh.

Haven't given up, still want to lose another 30 lbs, making my total weight loss at 120.  I'll get there, just not to worried anymore.

Eat less, move more.

183.4 Truth

Sad to say some folks will read this just because it has a image of some booty.  Ya'll need to get some depth into your life and realize there is more out there to the human condition besides looks.

Back to me...so I woke up today determined again.  Lost a pound, managed 12 hour fast before breakfast and feeling pretty good about myself.

One truth tho...my husband claims he has never cared about my weight or appearance and for the most part I think he actually believed that.  But now that I'd dropped 90 lbs and parts of me are firming up quite nicely, his praise belies his heart.  He constantly tells me how great I look and how happy he is that I'm so focused on my journey to health.  Calls me "skinny."  Hugs me and points out how he can wrap his arms all the way around me.  Even the sex is different since I can now be on top without squishing him.  He mentioned that as well.

My truth:  the more weight I lose, the less in love with him I become.  He appears to be shallow and that is not attractive to me.  Out of all my post, this is the one he would read simply because of the booty shot I've included.  He would have stopped reading after 'Back to me'.   

Everyday I'm getting stronger in mind and body and spirit.  I've stop praying to a God and turn for inspiration and assistance from the Universe.  Is the Universe a God?  Don't know but seems when I ask God for guidance, nothing happens.  I ask the Universe and it does.  Makes ya wonder.

Didn't mean to get so deep in this post, but it is what it is.  Want to go swimming with my husband but he decided he needed a nap at 10 am.  That man has got to get a job.  It's been 2 months and I need my personal time to get shit done around the house.  Can't make noise if someone is sleeping.

Sigh....eat less, move more.

183.6 Steady as she goes

So, I turned 48 last month and apparently I felt like I could take a bit of a break from being good with my diet.  I've gained 5 pounds.   Thought today I would do well, but then we had a early 4th buffet at work since we are off tomorrow.  A co-worker brought his wife's homemade oatmeal raisin cookies the size of a small dessert plates and I had 2 plus small portions of a bunch of carb related foods.  Why does no one ever bring veggies to these things?  It's all meat and starches.  Can't say much, I brought a Greek pasta salad because I needed to get rid of the pasta I can't have and I make a yummy salad.  Didn't eat any so I can only hope it was good.  Didn't stick around for the $1 container I brought it in.

Went to Savannah on vacation with my kid for 2 days.  Walked 20k steps in under 12 hours.  If case you've never been, Savannah, Georgia is a walking city.  Driving is insane due to tour trolleys, horse drawn carriages plus the locals.  We had fun for the most part, ate too much and rode the free shuttle the city offers whenever possible which wasn't often.  Walked River Street about 12 times.  Almost got attacked by hungry squirrels in Forsyth Park, we tossed a french fry and went to a more human populated area.  Here's a image of the moment. 

Tomorrow is a new day, hopefully I will maintain some self control.  One good thing, I've been swimming almost every day since the pool opened.

Eat less, move more.

178.6 another one bites the dust

Soon I'll be doing more of these, for now I'm working on swimming a full lap.  Tomorrow I'll be 48 years old, it's been a year since I started my Fit by 50 goal and I've lost 92 lbs.  Not too shabby if I do say so.

My hubby just weighed in at 177.  My current goal is to weigh less than him.  He looks great at 5'10" while I still look chubby at 5'2".  That's ok tho, I'm gonna blow past him and have a rocking bod by the time I turn 50. 

Main goal is this:  live a long life as independently as I can without medical assistance.  The idea of wearing diapers or going to dialysis or praying someone flips me so I don't get bed sores is a nightmare.  Got a friend who is probably in her mid 70's, she runs around like a little girl most days after she's had her coffee.  Proof that eating less and moving more and maybe being a vegetarian aides to a long life.

Now if I could just work on my inner spirit as well.  Self reflection is not something I engage in.

Eat less, move more.

179.6 Craving Chocolate

So I lost a few ounces, enough to finally see the 170's.  15 years since I've been in this weight area.  Yet my mind and hormones are trying to sabotage me.  Craving chocolate like a visitor to Willy Wonka's.  So thinking logically, like I do, it's PMS symptoms.  Doesn't change the fact that I wanna drown myself in some creamy milk chocolate right now.  Hopefully I make it to bed before I down me a Atkins chocolate milk shake.  So far the only thing keeping me from it is that it wasn't cold enough to consume.  I seriously need to rid my home of chocolate temptations.

Wish me luck.

Eat less, move more.

180.2 Fasting Fail-ish

So, a pound of fat was lost.  90 lbs in total so far. 

I did all my usual exercises, and I even noticed that after a 2 mile walk, I'm not hungry.  Nope, hunger kicked in around 3 pm.  I drank a Chobani Yogurt Smoothie.  10 grams of protein. Eating something seemed to kick off my hunger so then about 2 hours later I had a actual strawberry/blueberry smoothie with whole D milk.  Then I said 'fuck it' and ate 1/4 of a #13 Jersey Mikes Original Italian.  Still consumed less than 1000 calories for the day.  Goodbye 1 pound of fat.

So today I decided to see how long I could go without eating.  Turns out I'm quite the hangry person when I push 15 hours fasting and do a sweat drenching 2 mile walk 20 minutes after waking up and my husband asked me about his stupid sock laying on the end table in the living room.  One Honey Baked Classic Turkey sandwich later and I'm all good and back to normal.  Oh and a little sample of Rum Cake they offered at the Honey Baked store didn't hurt either.

For dinner I made a stew for lack of a better term.  It contained the following ingredients: quinoa, zucchini, eggplant, white onion, garlic, shredded rotisserie chicken, corn, tomatoes, okra, garbanzo beans, mushrooms, chicken bone broth and Chili's Bold Skillet Citrus Mango Sauce.  I was deep cleaning my kitchen today and found mango sauce in the pantry.  Hope I can find that again at the store, it was soooo yummy.  I now have about 8 more servings at 1 cup a serving left to eat.  I'll probably eat 2 cups at a time tho.

I also noticed that I really didn't snack today.  Did indulge in one piece of salted chocolate covered caramel, but that was more while I was in cleaning mode and happen to find it.  Thought they were all gone.  Ever notice the expiriation date on candy...it's forever.

Tomorrow, plan to avoid eating as long as possible.  Then eat healthy.  Maybe another salted caramel, but that's it.  I only have 2 left and lots of house cleaning to go and only 2 days left to clean before I'm back to work.   Gotta love spring cleaning in Georgia with this humidity.  Nope, we haven't turned on the A/C, it's still in the 80's here.  Yet at 11:22 pm, about 78 outside and my boobs are sweating even though I'm sitting here in my underwear.  Sigh.

Eat less, move more.