3 pounds

I finally went swimming Friday.  Exceeded my steps by 1500.  Doing good.  Lost 3 lbs.  Figure it's water weight loss.

Yet today I went over my calorie count by 783.  Self sabotage.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Starting to think that perhaps the "change in perception" isn't such a bad idea after all.   I have a co-worker who practices it non-stop.  She blocks negativity like Captain America with that shield he's got.

Gotta figure out what's stopping me from accepting this life choice I've made.  Fit by 50.  I want that so much, for so many reasons.  I'm a logical, calculating and creative minded person, I should be able make sense of this confusion.

Intentions is to drink 8 oz of water before every meal and FOCUS on what I'm putting in my body.   Something has to change.  I'm killing myself with calories and I'm not going out like that dagnabit!

I will try better tomorrow.  I'm gonna eat less and move more.  G'day.