Control

Today was about control.  Can I control myself not to eat out of boredom but only out of actual hunger?  Turns out I can.  Knew I had it in me.  (Fist Pump)

So I got up, got on the elliptical, did 5 minutes before my hip started hurting.  Also got in some wall pushups and squats w/dumbbells.  About 15 reps each.  I'm not up to sets yet.

I was careful with my food and didn't go over my 1700 allotment of calories.  Mostly though, I got 3600+ extra steps today in addition to my daily goal.  That was more due to the weather being so windy, cool and just nice.  Plus it started out a slow day at work so I had time to talk a walk around the building several times today.

Now my goal is to get more than 5 hours of sleep so I can do it again even better tomorrow.   Plus I want to go swimming tomorrow night.

Can't wait to weigh myself in the morning.   Always remember, you're responsible for your own happiness so eat less...move more.  Later.

3 pounds

I finally went swimming Friday.  Exceeded my steps by 1500.  Doing good.  Lost 3 lbs.  Figure it's water weight loss.

Yet today I went over my calorie count by 783.  Self sabotage.  Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Starting to think that perhaps the "change in perception" isn't such a bad idea after all.   I have a co-worker who practices it non-stop.  She blocks negativity like Captain America with that shield he's got.

Gotta figure out what's stopping me from accepting this life choice I've made.  Fit by 50.  I want that so much, for so many reasons.  I'm a logical, calculating and creative minded person, I should be able make sense of this confusion.

Intentions is to drink 8 oz of water before every meal and FOCUS on what I'm putting in my body.   Something has to change.  I'm killing myself with calories and I'm not going out like that dagnabit!

I will try better tomorrow.  I'm gonna eat less and move more.  G'day.

Cheesecake

Cheesecake is evil. It lures you and tempts you with the knowledge that it will be delicious.  And dammit...it was.  Shot my calorie intake totally off chart.  Hopefully I will go swimming tomorrow.

Frustration

Went to my HOA pool only to find it locked at 10:30 am.  2nd day in a row it's been locked when the sign clearly states 10am-8pm.   No one is there at 10:30.  I can exercise in peace.

Why this is a issue?  I'm having some body shaming issues.  My arms look like they belong on a 80 year old.   18" circumference on my biceps.  Mostly fat with some muscle.   Like 2 balloons on their way to deflation but hanging on cos the helium isn't quite spent.  Not to mention the lovely stretch marks that, thankfully, have faded but you can still see 'em up close.  Ugh.  Yes, I know, no one is really looking at me anymore than I'm looking at them, but still, I prefer privacy.  That and avoiding people who think I'm there to chat.  I hate chatting.  Here's a clue folks, if someone is actually swimming, they don't want to chat.

My swimsuit is a blouson tankini top with biker/swim shorts that are long enough to cover all of my thighs (other body shaming area).  It's cute on me, but I still look I'm about 7 months pregnant.

So my motivation is shot for the day.  I did do 5 minutes on my elliptical and some standing push ups and some weight lifting (2 lb dumbbells.)  Broke a sweat and got my heart rate up to 130 for a few minutes.

Really need to work on my motivation.  Also, I don't like to go outside when the sun is too bright, even with sunscreen lotion I still burn and it gives me a headache.  Excuses for sale, I got tons on discount.

That's where the apple cider vinegar comes into play.  After researching it, I found that I can consume no more than 2 TBSP a day, after that it has no additional benefits.  Right now I'm at 1 TBSP every other day while my body adjust to this new product.  Now if it were red wine vinegar...no problems. I could drink the stuff.  But this apple cider vinegar is a whole new experience.  Also, Welch's Refreshingly Simple Pineapple, Orange & Apple juice does a decent job of killing off about 80% of the taste and smell which makes it more palatable. Plus I drink it using a straw and can almost inhale it in one continuous sip.  

The research: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1785201/ This is from the government so it must be true...maybe.  However, good research went into this article which is why I like it.  They rely on history and facts.  My favorite.  This other link is to Good HouseKeeping online for the flip side of the argument: http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/diet-nutrition/a44852/apple-cider-vinegar-health-benefits/.  

Do it, don't do it.  Beauty of personal choice.

I did read that traditional Japanese rice vinegar (Kurosu) from unpolished rice, inhibits the proliferation of human cancer cells. Again from the ncbi website. Pretty cool to learn that. I've got some in my cupboard for stir-fry dishes.  Time to amp up some stir-frys.

So breakfast was 80 calories of teriyaki beef jerky which is a 1 ounce serving. Wasn't that hungry this morning and I slept 8 1/2 hours.  Love having a week off from work.  Plus that 12 hours of fasting between meals is nice too. 

Lunch was a salad that I made.  I tracked the calories using a phone app called MyFitnessPal.    It said my salad was 756 calories.  WOW.  The avocado was 234 calories by itself.   I had baby arugula, cucumbers, corn, goat cheese, mango, tomato, fat free croutons and 130 calories from my White Balsamic & Honey Dressing by Private Selection/Kroger which is 2 TBSP that I dress my greens in.   Just enough to cover, but I couldn't really taste it.  Might have to go 3 TBSP.

Dinner will be interesting since my husband will be home in time and I have to figure out something for him that I can use for me as well.   Generally I just eat a smaller portion on a smaller plate but now that I'm counting calories, it will be a slight challenge.

That's it for today.   Remember, eat less...move more!

Determined

Hi, I'm Hyde and this blog is my journey to being fit by 50.  That gives me 3 years.  Join me in my highs and lows of weight loss, healthy eating habits and self discovery.

I'm not any kind of professional in the world of weight control.  But I have been on many diets and have learned much as to what I should be putting into my mouth.  Don't expect any special diets as I'm just a normal eater.  Plan to post only what I eat, exercise and discover and how that worked out for me.  And share some recipes along the way.

And remember:  eat less, move more!

Current weight: 267